Baby Mama Syndrome

What it look like good folk? Its me...Steez...doin how I do...givin yall some of these chronicles. Lightning has delayed the Ravens vs Jets game. So I figured I would put this joint down for yall. Summer is pretty much over...days are warm...nights are becoming more and more frigid here on the east coast. In particular here in the city of brotherly thugs...oops I mean LOVE. Not much swingin personally or in the news that I can think of. Everyone has football fever...myself included. So lets get to these here chronicles....shall we?

As I said above fall is upon us. The sun is setting earlier. Kids are back in school. And with that you must be aware of certain infections...viruses...and ailments. Flu...common cold....swine flu...re vitaligo....you name it...you need to watch out for it. But I was looking at recent reports about boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. and a situation with his baby mama that let me know that there is another pandemic looming. Baby Mama Syndrome. Family it is spreading fast and is as deadly as anything you've ever seen. This post is more for the ladies to help them identify the symptoms. So....walk with me

Symptoms
1. Treachery. Flat out. Treachery is the easiest symptom to identify. This form of treachery is identified by the inherent need to do something distructive to the father of your children. Most importantly it is your willingness to perform said act of treachery even if it is to your own detriment. Take the aforementioned Mayweather situation. Now...the initial reports was that Floyd whooped her ass. Because he came to the house and it was dirty...an altercation ensued and he supposedly put heavy hands on her. If this is the case..Floyd deserves whatever punishment he gets. BUT then the story changed...and Floyd was eventually arrested for grand theft larceny. In the heat of the argument he supposedly stole her iPhone. Now, an iPhone is what 400 bucks? Floyd makes over 20 million a fight. Is sending this man to jail worth losing the security he is providing for you and your child by being free? Bitch got an ACUTE case of baby mama syndrome.

2. Lazyness. Now this one is a given. Being that the difference between a mother and a baby mama is lazyness...or lack thereof. If you've gone to college then popped out some kids...and the best thing you can think to do is apply for public assistance...not out of necessity...but out of sheer lazyness and being unwilling to do whatever needs to be dont to care for your child...whether the man is around or not. You may want to seek help...cause it sounds like you have a bad case of Baby Mama Syndrome

3. Failure. Now this one is more complicated. Because in failure I don't mean just fucking up. But if you have kids...and you aint shit. You don't have a good job(or no job at all), can't pay your bills, can't provide an adequate life for you OR your children...and you can't rightfully blame that on the economy, illness, or lazyness. No, your only excuse is you can't do productive shit because you have the kids...you have Baby Mama Syndrome. I point to Bitch Treachery with this one. Now this broad has attended college and unlike many of us other young blacks. GRADUATED. But somehow she works a job that is reserved for teens that just left highschool. Her excuse is that the school that she works at is the school where our daughter goes(and now our oldest son). So its "easier" and "more convenient". Ignoring the fact that if she lived up to any potential or expectation she would have all the resources i.e. car, money etc. to make any other arrangement just as convenient.

I urge you guys to keep an eye out for these symptoms...and if you can think of more..please feel free to leave them for us to read. Also if you can think of any remedies that do not entail swift slaps or punches to the mouth...feel free to share those as well. LOL.

I'm out....

Barnacle B!tches/N!ggas

What it look like good folk? Its that maniacal square back with these chronicles. Miss me? I'm sure yall did...well I hope yall did. So whats been crackin...Man I was just watchin sportcenter and some dumb nigga that plays for the Dolphins lost a 50,000 dollar diamond earring at practice...it fell out on the field and they can't find it...peep the niggas spent like an hour raking the field after practice trying to find it...LOL. I'm sure one of them rookies thats finna get cut picked that bitch up and is gonna sell it and get his mama out the hood...well not completely out...but out of the shithole she's in now...lol. "They shoulda never gave you niggas MONEY!!!!"(c) Dave Chapelle as Rick James. Um what else..Damn...T.I. done got arrested again. What the fuck Clifford? Drugs...honestly I think that was Tiny drugs...but the nigga prolly gonna go down this time...just got out the bing...and to my knowledge he doesn't have info on another murder to save him this time. Damn....Ah well he's rich and we aint...so since Philly is trying to charge us to blog...I should get on with the chronicles....shall we....

As you read above...and I referenced in the picture this entry is about Barnacle Bitches/Niggas. Now to fully understand what I'm talking about I guess I should give a crude definition on what a barnacle is. A barnacle is an aquatic parasite that often sticks itself to other aquatic wildlife...most notable whales. And they will also attach themselves to the hulls of ships in the ocean. They are not dangerous or detrimental to whichever host they choose. Mostly they are just ugly. In some instances if enough barnacles attach themselves to the hull of a ship they can effect the speed of the vessel and the fuel requirements. Fucked up right? Thats why a lot of ships that are out at sea for long periods of time have someone that will go down and scrape the barnacles off when the ship docks to refuel or whatever.....okay class dismissed

So I know you're thinking....where is this square ass dude going with the Bill Nye bullshit. Simple. Ask yourself have you or someone you know been effected by this kind of person in real life? A muhfucka that is just THERE. They don't enhance shit they touch. Nor do they really take away from it. I'm sure you have. I know I have....and I know yall know her name. *Pauses while audience whispers Bitch Treachery to themselves*. Yeah. Walk with me. As I told yall I moved out of the house...and she knew I was leaving...knowing she can't afford to pay the rent to live there. So today she asked me about some things about picking our son up from daycare. I asked how she was going to get him from me(as she doesn't know my current residence). She said "you can just drop him off" I was like "where?" ....to which she replied "at the house" Now...as I said...she knew I was leaving...in actuality as I told you guys she brought it up to me before I brought it up to her. In any event when I responded with the "well you can't afford to stay there and I told the landlord I was leaving so she thought you were too" she lost it...got on some shit about me not providing for the kids. Family I've been sleeping on a hot ass couch for the majority of this heat wave Philly summer. All the while paying rent for her barnacle ass to sit up on the bed I paid for, in the air conditioned room. cooking meals..etc. How long was I supposed to do this? Oh did I mention barnacles will stay wherever they are until removed by force..thats why whales in the wild are usually covered with them...who is gonna get them off? Fuck her and the whale she rode in on...she can go stay with her mom...who is another more crafty barnacle bitch.

Recently I've been told some stories by a friend of mine...who we'll call...Alfred. About a particular barnacle bitch/nigga in their life. This particular barnacle doesn't even know they are a barnacle. Which is fucked up because they don't know how unsightly and unwanted they really are. The thing about barnacles is that as I said...they are harmless. So you have people that will just "let them be". But why let a muhfucka slow you down or have you going out of your way to refuel when you shouldn't have to. People and friends should not be unwanted or unsightly. And they should never be a burden. So if you got someone in your life like that..scrape that bitch off the next time you dock. They are just making you more and more ugly.

Lastly, in dealing with barnacle bitches/niggas. You need to know who and what you are. As I said...whales are pretty much defenseless. Half the time they don't even know the barnacle is there. And the other half they don't care. There is nothing wrong with being a whale. Live your life...but you bet not ask me to get a barnacle off your back...you good playa...that shit don't even look like a barnacle...pass it off as a mole. Now if you're a ship...you have shit to do. You need to look presentable and be unhindered at all time. scrape them off and keep it pushin under dig? And once you show that you are really serious about being barnacle free people around you will help scrape them off too. So ask yourself are you a barnacle or a ship?

Before I bounce I wanna give a shoutout to a new reader that let me know she dug these chronicles..so family welcome the homie Janice G to the table...Janice be careful everything is square here don't get stabbed with a corner....

I'm out....

Its On!!!

What it do folk? Its ya boy Steez. I'm back like I never left. As you can see from the title...it is officially on. Bitch Treachery is on her way out. She can't escape the icy cold hand of defeat. I have an appointment later so lets get straight to it....shall we?

I just got back from City Hall. I had to get a copy of our marriage license. Why? You may be asking. Simple. Later today, I have a meeting with my attorney. Divorce papers will be filed. And so begins what will be an epic journey to get Bitch Treachery out of my life. *Cues Max B "Movin On Out The Door"*. In the past couple weeks I have been slowly moving my shit out of our house. Note I said MY shit. I have left her and her things unscathed. When she figured it out, she it me with "oh you're sneaking your stuff out?". First off, to sneak, intels that there is some sort of fear involved. Which there is none. Secondly, how and why would I sneak MY things? That bitch need to go read Twilight another few times. Maybe Edward or Jacob(I don't know what team she is on) can help her figure it out. And one thing is for sure...that bitch aint Bella. LOL(why do I know these characters names?)

With all that said, I must admit that I am still bewildered by how far all of this shit has gone. I mean, this is a hell of a 7 year itch. I'm not saddened. I'm not hurt....I'm more or less confused. I always envisioned that if things went sour(which I knew was a possibility), I saw things being way more civil. But it is what it is. I gotta move on. Fuck her and feed her fish. I'm done being a safety net for a bungee jumping treacherous bitch. Feel me?

In the end, I'm very excited about what I am currently embarking on. I'm still young, and I feel as though a new horizon is upon me. I know its not gonna be easy. I need yall support...and of course I will keep yall abreast of the sit-chee-a-shun. LOL. I know, though, the shit with the kids is gonna be crazy. As, recently she seems to have convinced herself that SHE and SHE alone has been looking out for the best interestof the kids. And I guess enough off brand bitches have been cosigning it....shit...this bitch called me a deadbeat 2 days ago....LOL. So I will definitely need yall support with that. But fuck it...I've come too far to turn back now...I just hope that bitch knows what kind of fight I have in me.

I'm out.

A Man Gotta Have A Code

What it do folk? Its ya boy Steez. Finally back at yall with another episode of these here chronicles. So, what yall been up to? Me? sheeeeeit I've been on my way to freedom. I can't really divulge it all right now...but just not bitch treachery is making her way toward my rear view. I haven't been up to much though. Just putting ducks in a row. Chilling in the bat cave. But enough about me...lets get on to these chronicles.....shall we?!?!?!

Up,up,down,down,left,right,left,right,a,b,a,start. Codes. A man has to have one. Not having one doesn't make you less of a man. But, if you are in fact a man, why don't you have one. Codes. What does that mean? To me? Everyone I know? You need to have a list of things you will and won't do no matter what. Some people may say morals...some people may say values. But when its all said and done, its a code. Just like the video game reference above...it is something that is written into your make up that FORCES you to conduct yourself in a certain way. Walk with me....

I like to pretend that I'm the only square in the world. The only nigga out here paying rent, buying groceries, babysitting...all for a treacherous bitch that doesn't deserve it. But I'm not. I also agree that in the past few years I have made myself less of a man(or square) for said treacherous bitch. But with that said....there is some shit that I Just...Won't....Do!!!! For instance...this very batcave that I am writing to you...my family..from. Bitch Treachery knows nothing about(stay tuned...I PROMISE...friday evening I will explain this). The maker and owner of said batcave...is it THIS person..is it THAT person...fuck it...its like the answer to "how many licks...." The world may never know. So as you see, there are certain things that I have no problem divulging...and others that will go to a grave..be it mine...hers...or ours.

I suppose the street way of saying what I'm saying here is most easily compared to the "Stop Snitching" movement. LOL. While that shit was dumb as fuck....you have to admire a group of people that have no obvious moral foundation...collectively agreeing on a single solitary virtue. So...as a square...why haven't YOU?!?!?! Thats the beautiful thing about codes...they don't have to make sense to anyone but the person that created them...but at the same time anyone that chooses, must submit fully and totally to them. Bottom line....nigga...develop a code...and you don't have to submit to a muthafuckin thing...figgadeal me?

When its all said and done..a man/woman you should decide what you are and aren't bout. What and won't you put up with. This is bigger than all the petty shit that most niggas bicker over. Its about how you conduct yourself. Moreover, its not about HOW....its about WHY...in closing I want to say this.....the person that knows how will always have a job....the person that knows why will always be their boss. Have a code.....

I'm out....

Things I've Learned

What it do good folk? Its ya main man Steez. Man, I'm not doing alright. My grandad, for whom I had an imaginary friend named after is in the hospital. Fucked up right? I know. But I'm gonna do my thing for yall. Several shots of gin...and a life in turmoil, I'm still gonna do this for my folk. Underdig? I don't really have much to talk about aside from that. So can we get on to the chronicles....Shall We?

Today I wanted to get at yall with things I've learned. Most of these are unrelated...I'm just on my shit and thinking of things I've learned that can help my folk.

1. The woman you SHOULD marry is the woman that is okay with not marrying you.
I have realized that as a man, if a woman is okay with not being YOUR woman. That is who you need to be with. BT hit me with hangers, fists, feet etc when I said that I wanted to wait to get married, the day we were to get out marriage license. Look at us now....Thats not to say that it can't work for you. Just saying, if you almost die telling your babe that she shouldn't be all YOURS? Uhhhh, maybe you should cancel the measurments for the tux.

2. Perfection is dependant on time. For instance, your "perfect" lady does some wild shit when you aren't prepared. How is she perfect anymore? Maybe she found out that you banged the pretty Rican from down the street...sure perfect for her...but where does that leave you? Ass naked wondering what happened. So...take your dime and shove it up your ass....there is no such thing as perfection...unless of course you're last name is Frankenstein(which we heard about in movies) so....go luck.....

3. You can't save everyone. Look, I know every man has that firefighter/policeman/army trooper in them. But the reality is, you can't save everyone. If you have kids within a tumultulous relationship, realize that the kids are a casualty of war. Maybe you can save their souls...possibly their minds....but their bodies? Never. Basically put, I love my children. But, at some point I need to know that there is nothing I can do for them. It hurts. But, I know that Bitch Treachery is the one with them. So whatever happens happens. Easier said than done....for sure.

4. Work is just the time when you aren't playing. I realized this when I was on vacation. Mostly because while working most people are thinking of what they can do when playing. We work a significant part of our lives. But nothing compared to the time we spend playing. Please, if you learn nothing else from these chronicles please understand that you have to have some fun...or your life...your work...means nothing.

Honestly, I've learned a lot more than these four things...most of which I will share in one way or another...but in honor of my grandfather, who dedicated a lot of his life....or at least the part that I saw....to his work, and making other people happy....I wanted to do this blog. Back to our regularly scheduled programs next time....

I'm out

Do the world a favor......

What it DO good folk? Its ya main square Steez back with these chronicles. Back from a beautiful vacation in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic....finally got a stamp in my passport. I know I know, I was supposed to blog from paradise. Sorry, my phone did some wild shit and I couldn't get at yall. But I DO have a lot of fly pictures that maybe I can scan...others that will get sent to me on the net(Ma Steez, and Cousin Mike...do work!!!) that I can put up for yall to see. And soon enough I may blog about my experience there...not sure. If yall REALLY wanna hear about it inbox me or message me or email me...whatever, and depending on what I get I will blog about that for yall. But for now we gonna leave that where it is and get on to the Chronicles....Shall we?

Deeeeezamn!!! So while I'm gone sh!t got hectic in squareville. It was all my fault...I got caught with my hand in the proverbial cookie jar. Reaching for an old stale, fungus laden cookie that I didn't even want. It was just some shit I was reaching for because dinner wasn't ready...underdug? In any event I'm gonna do the world a favor...and kill myself. LOL. Not literally. See the premise of this blog is about examining who you are...taking the fucked up part...doing the world a favor...and offing it. Feel me. Now me, while I'm square, just like anyone else I like to feel loved, appreciated, desired...all that. And when I don't feel that, I turn elsewhere, usually to more undesirable places for those attentions. As can be expected this causes a plethora of problems in my personal life. In marriage. In friendship. In business. You name it. I guess you can say I'm some kind of low budget attention whore. I think this is prevalent in most people. I mean if you aren't getting the service you desire at Mcdonalds, you will most likely go to Wendy's, right? Well I'm the same way...just with people. I gotta do soemthing about this fast though...I've burned a lot of bridges on this. A lot of them needed to be burned...but still, who wants to be on an island? So I'ma do the world a favor...KILL MYSELF!!!!

NEXT UP!!! I would like all of you to take a step back and evaluate whether or not you are treacherous. Does treachery reside ANYWHERE in your heart or mind. I heard a story about a nigga that wouldn't sign off on a passport for his daughter to go on vacation because he thought that the mom was gonna dip out and he not see his child again. Noble right? Fuck outta here...the nigga don't see his child anyway. So not only are you treacherous...you a sucka too? do the world a favor....KILL YOURSELF!!!

NEXT UP!!! Jealous muhfuckas. So I went on my lil vaca. Came back...and Bitch Treachery is giving me the cold shoulder...I mean HEAVY. This clown was writing notes and leaving them around the house for me on some Color Purple shit...(S-T-O-V-E...STOVE!!!!) it was retarded. I surmised that a lot of it had to do with her being upset that I had the capacity to get away...and she didn't. Which sucks. I'm not going to get into all the reasons why she couldn't get away but at the end of the day(or the beginning of night) why does it matter? Be happy for a square. Or shit, be happy that you don't have to look at my fat ass for a whole week. But some people take every opportunity to be negative...and let jealousy get in the way. Which, I wouild be remiss if I didn't bring this up....the proverbial fungus cookie I mentioned. Fuck her, the horse she rode in on, and the stall she keeps it in. Fuck me for dealing with her on any level that didn't involve ultra violence and saliva. We we should all do the world a favor....KILL OURSELVES!!!

NEXT UP!!! The people outside yelling. I don't know what the beef is. But its 1245 on a Sunday afternoon...the weed and booze should not be flowing like that to have yall outside scrapping...KILL EACH OTHER!!!!

NEXT UP!!! The nigga that decided to come down Kelly Drive last night and blast Ja Rule...COME ON DAWG!!!!(c) Shane Mosley...Kill Yourslef!!!!

LOL. Folk thats all I got for today...I just wanted to have a little fun and get some shit of my chest. BUT I got a little treat for yall since I didn't blog while on vacation...its a second blog...a little piece of poetry...unfinished, but I still hope yall like it...

Also before I dip I wanna give a shoutout to Shurl Harris for talking to me(even though it was like 5 days late...lol) and for reading the blog.

I'm out

Ode to Cake

What it look like folk? Its ya boy Steez. I am fitna switch gears on yall. Not only am I dropping TWO, count em, TWO blogs today. In this one I am going to give you a litte taste of my....work. As you all know, I'm a writer. In every sense of the word. This is something that I worked on on my train ride back to the City of Brotherly Thugs...oops I mean love. I hope yall enjoy it.


Sour cream frosted
my sweet tooth tingles
as the spongy pastry dances across my tongue
the butterflies in my stomach flutter
at the thought of divinity raining down on them
Bermuda birthmark sprinkles
Lost
I use the scent to find my way
slicing through love flavored icing
triple layered ambrosia
and buttery angels food
so rich my lips pucker
velvety soft sticking to the roof of my mouth
the perfect marble dessert is born....

sorry folk thats as far as I got....I figured giving it to you unfinished would lend a bit to the purity...lol.


I'm out