Earlier today someone stopped just short of calling me immature. I thought that was an interesting thing to say to me. Then I thought more...maybe I am. But why? The conclusion I came to was stunted growth. Now family, in no way shape or formam I owning up to immaturity, but fuck it it is an interesting comment that I wanted to explore.
First, I explored what maturity is. Then I ran into the first problem....maturity is subjective. But then I stepped back and looked at my own definitions comparitively with my actions. I realized that alot of choices I have made, have stunted my growth mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Being forced into adulthood before it was time was the social equivalent of an 11 year old smoking cigarettes. I had to learn a lot of shit from my own failures...and there was a lot of them.
This aint no Tyrese in Baby Boy shit though. And I damn sure aint Jody running from respnsibility. I admit though that a lot of responsibilties I have taken on are beyond what I can comprehend. I live in the moment. Not in the cliche way, but in the sense that I don't think about every possible result of a current action. Short sighted? Yes. Irresponsible? Maybe. Immature? Debateable. But when being overwhelmed every second of every day, can I afford to focus on anything BUT The moment at hand.
To some what I just said will sound like an excuse. Others will sympathize. A few will empathize. I do all three. In reality there is no excuse for shit I do, other than me feeling my way through this dark room called adulthood. I make no apologies for the many stubbed toes I will suffer such is life...
I'm out.....
P.S. Did yall see janet say muthafucka I'm Ms. Jackson if you nasty...they cut her mic RIGHT off. Lol
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