Monopoly On Pain

What it look like good folk? It's ya main square Steez back at it on the blogosphere. I'm sorry I been gone for so long since the last entry. Sorry to say I've been mourning since my last entry. One of my younger cousins passed on some tragic shit. And frankly I haven't had shit to say. But I'm back now, so, let's get to it. Shall we....

Recently I've been up in my hometown of the Steel City(Pittsburgh Pennsylvania for those of you not in the know). Spending time with my fam in the wake of this tragedy. While doing so I realized something that I guess has always been apparent to me. Black people like to have a monopoly on pain. But also never share happiness. What I mean is, at the funeral everyone wanted everyone else to know that THEY were the saddest person there. Don't get me wrong, it was sad no doubt. The square even shed more than a couple tears. Now, there wasn't the typical grandstanding. But I noticed more than a couple instances of bullshit. It is that which it is I guess.

But that isn't my real issue. Everyone grieves in their own way. My question is, why, as black people aren't we as free and open with our happiness? Given all the shit we've endured as a people, why do we find it so hard to express joy, yet invite others to wallow in agony with us? I don't have the answer. Though I've been thinking on it for the better part of 3 weeks. I want those of you that read this to comment. But not really on the nature of this piece(though you can if you want). But I want everyone that comments to share a happy memory with all of the readers of this blog. Ima do the same right now.

I remember when my cousin Marcus(the one that passed) fucked his leg up riding his dirtbike. He had to have surgery and all that....even got a staph infection. Well he got through all that. Had a big cast on his leg and all that. Well me and his older brother(we were like 15 at the time) used to hit the mall every weekend. Get dressed, try to talk to girls, buy a shirt or something. Well this time Marcus wanted to come. So my aunt FORCED us to take him with us. Well we get to the mall and he's on crutches. We get him one of those jackleg mall wheelchairs. Now this nigga got fresh just like us. So here we are taking turns pushing him around the mall and still tryna front for the girls. While he is sitting in the wheelchair cocked to the side like he's Don Magic Juan or some shit. LOL.

I'm out

How Many of us Have Them

What it look like good folk? I know its been a while. But I'm back droppin that square knowledge for y'all. For those of y'all that don't know I'm the friendly neighborhood square Steez. Since its been a minute, I won't bore y'all with the details. Let's get to it, shall we?

I've been racking my brain for things to talk about on here. Nothing good was coming to me. Then the longer the time between blogs, the more I felt compelled to hit y'all with the Doug E. Then it hit me, FRIENDS. A universal problem/blessing. So I've lined up four situations or scenarios going on in my life. Hopefully y'all can feel me.

I've never had many friends. I typically kept people around for convenience or to stroke my own ego. But lifelong bond type friends has never been my specialty. Then I looked at my facebook(yeah I have one of those) and clicked on the "friends" tab. Of the 30 some odd images that popped up, aside from family and coworkers I realized I haven't seen most of these people since before I had hair on my nuts. And most of them weren't my friends THEN. From there I was looking through my old blogs. I went all the way back to the first one. I had just parted ways with a friend of over 12 years. I was angry. I was hurt. I was confused. Is that what friendship is about? Well this young lady is back in my life...sorta. she is currently at the business end of a mighty stiff arm, compliments of yours truly. Recently I had a conversation with a *ahem* friend. She said "friends should never be a burden". Talk about real shit. Though I knew this subconsciously, which is the reason for the distance between the original friend and I, it held more weight coming from someone else.

Next, I wanna talk about Butterbear and I. Now, as most of y'all know, her and I were friends before we took it to where it is now. Like really really good friends. Recently I can't but help to think that the friendship, while it is the foundation for our union, is also the reason for its detriment. Feel me. We have all been there with a friend when the joke goes "too far" and someone gets punched in the mouth. Well how do you handle that when the friend is your wife? Things that are easily hashed out or even forgotten about when dealing with friends are now marital issues. Household problems. Having a friend you deem to be lazy is one thing. Having a lazy spouse is totally different. Dig? I have resolved that our friendship is gonna save or completely destroy our marriage.

Speaking of destruction, I have completely laid waste to a friendship that I've had for a while now. Nah there isn't any beef but my actions within the confines of the friendship have assured that said friendship is on borrowed time. What can I say? I have an addiction to high explosives. Let's just hope I can handle the earthquake that is coming.

Lastly, I wanna shout out my muthafuckin FRIENDS Rick, Tiz, and Mel. They are pretty much the only real friends I have. And most definitely the only friends I've made since becoming an adult. We shared an evening together in celebration of our(me, rick, and mel) birthdays. Ball isn't the word. We all had the greatest fuckin time imaginable at Dave and Busters. Good food, good drank, good friends. What else could a square ask for?

I'm out