What it look like folk? Its ya boy Steez...your favorite square back with some more of these chronicles. The temperature here in the City of Brotherly Thugs...my bad..I mean Love, is dropping. No snow yet...good thing...I'm still sore from all the shoveling I did last winter. But I'm sure its coming. Whatever. But I'm gonna get right on to bidness...Shall we?!?!?!
I'm in a very contemplative mood right now. The past few days I've been thinking about marriage. Not just mine for once. But I have realized that a lot of young people have been getting married. Not just young people, but young black people especially. The majority of them have one thing in common. They are fucked up. For whatever reason I know a lot of people 30 and under that are either divorced, or on the urge of it. What the fuck is that about? I've asked a lot of people and the answer has pretty much been the same among all of them. But I still think I'm gonna dissect it a little more here. *This is for you Bosslady82...hope I can answer some questions that I couldn't yesterday*.
First I want to examine the mentality of young black men. This is the easiest since I am a young black man. I know a large factor of me deciding to get married was the fact that I grew up without a father. Now, my mother never outwardly trashed my father. But throughout life, my mother became the template for all virtues in women...so the antithesis of that(my father) had to be all the bad things that could be represented in a man. This may or may not have been true. But it was this mentality that made me decide early on that I wanted to be NOTHING like my father. So when the time came...I found a broad that I liked...she got pregnant...so to be the opposite of that which I taught myself to despise...I got married. As I sit here typing this, I am not living in the same house as my children, and my marriage is over in every way other than legally. I see that I made a terrible mistake based on a half truth. Granted, all accounts show that my father is and was an asshole...I can't help but think what my children will think about me...will they ever truly understand the circumstances that made me leave. Will they care? Only time will tell...
Next, I want to speak on the mentality of black youth. Day in and day out as a black person in America, you are constantly told what you can, can't, will, won't, should, or shouldn't do. And as evidenced in our rap music, saggy pants, and backwards hats, our response has always been a resounding "fuck you". Throughout the late 80's, the entire 90's, and early 2000's we have been told that we are little more than baby mamas and baby daddies. And in more extreme cases we are bucks and breeders. I think there is a subconscious desire to remove those stigmas. I can also attest to this. I looked at my situation as "different", even though it was very much the same. I was a young, undereducated, underprivledged, black male from a single parent home. Can you say "cyclical"?
Also, I'd like to examine the "fantasy". As black people we tend to romanticize a lot of things. I have noticed that a lot of our young people tend to be in love with the idea of being in love. I don't know if we have misunderstood the meaning of love. Or if we have listened to a few too many Mary J. Blige songs. But this shit has gotten really extreme. I would say that things need to scale it back though.
As you noticed I didn't examine the mindset of women...why? I'm not a woman. I have more than enough women readers...so you guys can weigh in in the comment section or on my facebook if you'd like....
I'm out.
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