As I said I spent my saturday afternoon in a church surrounded by hoodrats. The most prominent of which was the bride to be. That's right family my brother in law wifed up a hoodrat. It was a sad state of affairs. But this ratted out affair gave me pause. What was there to learn, and more importantly how can we prevent more fiascos like this. So here I am with some popular hoodrat phrases and how you squares out there can sidestep the advances of any rats that might be around you. So without further adieu I present my Guide To Understanding Hoodrats.
1. Hoodrats will try to confuse you with a phrase like "I'm just going through some things right now". Be sharp. Whatever she is going through is of no concern to you. And quite frankly your knowledge of said problems will likely have you knee deep in hoodrat shit I.E. baby daddy issues, friends and/or family members in prison. Ignore a rat that says this to you. Change the topic or end said conversation immediately.
2. Many of you will ignore rule #1. Which will lead to conflict with your hood rat. During this time she will inevitably find a reason to say "I'm grown". This proclamation will most likely be followed by actions that are either idiotic, immoral, or illegal. Whatever the case...get far away from the hoodrat in question as whatever she does will likely end up in your imprisonment or death.
3. Antother phrase to steer clear of is "you don't pay my bills". This is tricky because in most cases SHE doesn't pay her bills either. Never engage in financial arguments with hoodrats as, she is really trying to gauge how much money you have and how much you will be willing to part with.
4. Never, I repeat, NEVER take the side of a hoodrat in a dispute with another nigga. You don't know what the hell she did to set him off. Your involvment will only result in one of your dumb asses going to prison. Also when a hoodrat claims she is being stalked, discontinue all contact with her. That nigga is crazy and she is telling him some bullshit about you.
5. Do not try to educate a hoodrat. If your as smart as you think you are you wouldn't be fuckin with ratted out broads.
6. Do not debate with hoodrats. The cirecular logic of the average rat has been known to cause nosebleeds. Beware, a hoodrat reading a book, or watching some quasi intellectual film like The DaVinci Code is on the prowl for a dumb nigga to argue with. You've been warned.
7. To understand hoodrats, one must observe them. Many of you reading this are probably like me, working every day around dozens of hoodrats. They are easily identified by their skinny jeans and visible thongs, psuedo knowledge of high end fashion(even though while they are talking about couture louis v, she is most likely wearing a baby t from old navy and knockoff 7 jeans...do not be fooled).
Well brethren I think that is enough to get you started. Just remember to keep your eyes peeled, wallet closed, and your pants up. You can avoid the cape store and do not have to be standing in front of a preacher with keysha cole "Love" blaring through the speaker while your hoodrat sways her head to the sound of your cape flapping gently in the breeze. So now you know....and knowing is half the battle.
I'm out.
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I like this here peoples.
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